Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Birthdays All Around!

December is busy for everyone, but we feel we must make it even more so by adding a number of birthdays into the mix. December 13th kicks it off with my sister, Connie's birthday. My dad's birthday is December 16th. Marian's birthday is December 17th, and Jon's birthday is December 18th. There are also numerous cousins, uncles, brothers-in-law scattered within those same days and a few more.

So, with today being the 17th, we celebrated Marian's 6th birthday. She got to take treats to school for snack time and even be the snack helper. She was so excited! When she got home, I was making her birthday cake. She had requested a guitar cake and the picture you see is my attempt at that. She had also requested pizza for dinner. We had toyed with the idea of making homemade pizza, but since she isn't having a birthday party and friends over this year, we decided we'd go to Pizza Hut. She also had a certificate for a free Personal Pan Pizza from the school's Book It! Program, so that didn't hurt! After we got back to the house to have cake, we gave her her birthday present, and she was thrilled!

Marian was also happy to share her 6th birthday with her little sister. Josephine is 8 weeks old today. It's amazing that we've been able to have her this long, and we are so very, very grateful. I wish had some wonderful words to share with all of you, but I'm afraid that I'm not able to come up with all the words to describe all the different feelings I've been having today. I know that they are all supposed to be normal given the situation, but I can't help but feel mostly conflicted. How is it that we are able to feel so many different emotions all at once? I can't even begin to describe all the emotions that I've felt today. Part of me doesn't know what words I could use, and the other part of me is holding all of them sacred and close to my heart.

Eight weeks isn't really very long, but it's long enough to become attached and get used to all the little nuances of her personality. I can't help but think how lucky we are to have been able to get to know her. I know there are many in our situation who haven't had that chance. I also know that the reason she is still with us is because her mission here is not yet complete. She has been sent to us to fulfill a purpose before she returns to live with her Heavenly Father. I'm sure it is not meant for me to know just what she has been sent to do, but I do pray that at some time, whether it be now or later, that I am able to have even just a glimpse of her mission here. I also pray that I might be able to help her to fulfill her purpose here. I might not know that I am doing it at the time, so I pray that I will live according to the covenants that I have made and be open to the promptings of the Spirit to make righteous decisions. If I'm doing these things, I will be living my life in tune with Heavenly Father's plan, and partaking of the blessings of the atonement of Jesus Christ. And if I'm doing this, I will be making the right decisions as a mother to this very special little girl, and maybe I'll be able to bless her life the way she has blessed mine.


Glynn said...


tomorrow I will attend the 110th birthday party for a woman in my ward. When I talk to her she usually muses about what purpose God has for her in keeping her around so long. She is mostly sad and greatly desires to move on.

There are many in life whose celestial purpose is to teach the rest of us compasion. Josephine certainly does this. But there is much more to her purpose. She seems to have come with the Spirit and power of Elisha--to unite families. I'm sure there is still more to her purpose. For me she is a great source of faith. I know people who refer to children like Josephine and ask, "What kind of a god would create a child only to suffer and die young." I doubt such people have experienced what you have.

Our time, at longest, is not long.


Lucy said...

We're thinking about you and praying for you tonight. Let us know what we can do for you.

Lys said...

Dearest Clara -
I feel so blessed and guided to find your blog.
I have only learned of Josephine's existance in the last 1/2 an hour and already she has blessed my life and the lives of my children.
At one point my daughter came and looked at the computer and saw a photo of Josephine and asked, "Whose beautiful baby is that?" and I told her, "Her name is Josephine, she is living with Heavenly Father now." My daughter asked, "Does her mommy cry?" I told her, "Her mommy misses her but she will see her again in Heaven." Then she asks, "When is Heavenly Father going to give her another baby?" I couldn't even answer her - I just looked into her beautiful face which was all full of concern for you and your aching heart.
You spoke of Josephine's mission - her story has touched my heart and reminded me that each moment, each minute with my children is precious.
My husband has chosen to leave our family and I have been struggling with going to church and facing questions. Your words have given me the inner strength to be strong for my family and to remember that every moment is special. Thank you