Wednesday, December 31, 2008

'Tis Better to Give Than to Receive

Today was a good day. And I very much believe that today's title is true. We have been on the receiving end for the last two months from so many of you. It has been very humbling to feel the generosity of others, and today we got a chance to do some giving. It was small, but it felt good to be able to do something to give a little back.

We visited the OB nurses at the hospital today. It was very nice to see their kind, smiling faces! :) I've had many sudden urges over the last two months to stop by and jump in a hospital bed for a non-stress test. After three visits a week to the hospital and OB's office for the last six weeks of my pregnancy, I almost formed a habit!!

The reason for our visit today was to donate some of Josephine's things. We were able to take in some preemie size diapers and clothes. We knew the likelihood of having another preemie size baby is small, not only for us, but for many other people, so we wanted to make sure that Josephine's things would be useful to someone who needs them.

After all we've been given, it felt so nice to do something for someone else. And it makes me feel good to be doing them in Josephine's memory. Everyday someone tells me how much they have been touched by Josephine's story. I can't help but feel honored that my little girl has been able to touch so many people. I never would have imagined.

We have all been coping well. The best advice given to us was to keep busy. Jon and I are doing that pretty well. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you're trying to keep your mind busy. Marian seems to be doing well, too. She's talked about Josephine a few times. Mostly, she's been talking about little things she remembers.

James talked about Josephine for the first time yesterday. He noticed my breast pump sitting next to my bed, and said, "Baby!" I said, "Yes, that's for the baby's milk." He looked at me then, and said, "Baby, bye-bye." It's the first time he's said anything about her. I know that he is young, but I hope that I can do everything possible to keep her in his memory. I want Josephine to be as much a part of this family now as she was when she was with us. I know this is going to happen by talking about her frequently. Right now, this can be painful, but I still feel overjoyed and blessed to be her mother. And these are the feelings that most prominent for me right now. Yes, there is grief and sadness, but there is still peace, comfort, and joy that have been with us from the moment she was born, and even before.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We appreciate all you have done for us.


Anonymous said...

Clara, Jon and family,
It was SO good to see you all at the hospital. Your family has won our hearts! Thank you so much for the donation of clothing. The diapers have already been given away. The very next day someone phoned us to see where they could purchase preemie diapers for their baby that weighed just 4lbs. We were able to give them Josephine's. Hope she doesn't mind sharing with a boy!
And...if you get any more urges to jump into bed and have a monitor placed remember...I know how to do them! Come on down and we'll play. Please keep in touch and we will look forward.
Jennifer Weaver

The Lawheads said...

You are such an inspiration to me and you help me to remember that my family can be together forever as long as we stay rightous and always remember Heavenly Father and the Gospel in every moment of our precious time here as family and friends to everyone and I just cant express how much you, John, Marrian, and James mean to me and my family. Thoughts and prayers always!!